I am a collection of everyone I've ever met
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But in all the discussions of these events, they never talk about the real cause. They talk about the symptom, which is that people get post-traumatic stress disorder and they kill themselves and other people. …

But there is a more specific cause of this. Just think of how many individuals over the last 15 years would not have suffered death or injury, post-traumatic stress disorders or brain injuries if we didn’t go to war unnecessarily!

Why are the people who are really guilty, who lied us into war, not being called to task?

People can find the good in just about anything but themselves. Look at me. It’s clear to all of you that I am awesome. But I could never admit that. That would make me an ass. But what I can do is see what makes Annie awesome. She’s driven. We need driven people or the lights go out and the ice cream melts. And Pierce, we need guys like Pierce. This guy has wisdom to offer. We should listen to him some time. We wouldn’t regret it. And Shirley, Shirley has earned our respect. Not as a wife, not as a mother, but as a woman. Don’t test her on that, because that thing about the jukebox was too specific to be improvised. And Troy. Who cares if Troy thinks he’s all that? Maybe he is. You think astronauts go to the moon because they hate oxygen? No, they’re trying to impress their high school’s prom king. And Abed. Abed’s a shaman. You ask him to pass the salt, he gives you a bowl of soup. Because you know what, soup is better. Abed is better. You are all better than you think you are. You are designed not to believe it when you hear it from yourself. I want you to look to the person to your left. Sorry. Look at the person sitting next to you. I want you to extend to that person the same compassion you extend to sharks, pencils and Ben Affleck. I want you to say to that person, “I forgive you.” You’ve just stopped being a study group. You have become something unstoppable. I hear by pronounce you a Community.

(Source: ameliasfairytales)

(Source: cunningfoxes)

undef-eat-able:

Krispy Kreme summed up my entire health philosophy in a few sentences….

undef-eat-able:

Krispy Kreme summed up my entire health philosophy in a few sentences….

taleasoldastimelords:

murdercityboulevard:

heyfunniest:

Visual Representation of $1 Trillion.

shit

Hello yes we are 17 of that in debt god bless America

(Source: best-of-imgur)

tfm-intern:

The AP Stylebook. TFM. 

tfm-intern:

The AP Stylebook. TFM. 

itsnoteasybeinghuman:

“From the moment we’re born, we’re put into categories. We spend so much of our lives trying to define ourselves. But the truth is, there are only two categories: predator and prey. Once you choose which side you’re on, can you live with the consequences?”

itsnoteasybeinghuman:

“From the moment we’re born, we’re put into categories. We spend so much of our lives trying to define ourselves. But the truth is, there are only two categories: predator and prey. Once you choose which side you’re on, can you live with the consequences?”

cracked:

29 Baffling Rules of Life in Video Game Universes
cracked:

PRO TIP: don’t let that bad thing happen to you between lunch and bedtime.
5 Terrible Things I Learned Working as a 911 Dispatcher

#4. When You Call Matters a Lot
The second shift is from around 2 p.m. to 10 p.m., so it’s obviously the busiest shift, and all the folks with seniority got their asses transferred away as soon as possible. This means the most experienced dispatchers aren’t around during the busiest hours. And hey, that’s like most other workplaces. The folks with seniority are going to use their seniority to make work suck less. Unfortunately, our “work” happens to be “dealing with terrible calamities,” and if those calamities happen at the wrong time, there could be nothing but a room full of newbies to help.

Read More

" Is there any situation in which your ability to lustily eye-fuck some seals constitutes an emergency?" That pretty much sums up this article…

cracked:

PRO TIP: don’t let that bad thing happen to you between lunch and bedtime.

5 Terrible Things I Learned Working as a 911 Dispatcher

#4. When You Call Matters a Lot

The second shift is from around 2 p.m. to 10 p.m., so it’s obviously the busiest shift, and all the folks with seniority got their asses transferred away as soon as possible. This means the most experienced dispatchers aren’t around during the busiest hours. And hey, that’s like most other workplaces. The folks with seniority are going to use their seniority to make work suck less. Unfortunately, our “work” happens to be “dealing with terrible calamities,” and if those calamities happen at the wrong time, there could be nothing but a room full of newbies to help.

Read More

" Is there any situation in which your ability to lustily eye-fuck some seals constitutes an emergency?"
That pretty much sums up this article…

ladyofoverwood:

elizabitchtaylor:

  • do not comment on what I’m eating
  • do not comment on how much i’m eating
  • do not comment on how little i’m eating
  • do not comment on how healthy it is
  • do not comment on how unhealthy it is
  • do 
  • not
  • comment
  • on
  • what
  • i’m
  • eating

audreyhellburn:

republicans

(Source: outofcontextarthur)